Hi girls I have it too. I was diagnosed when i was 15 and I felt like I was not a woman because all my friends had their period. Then I got a boyfriend and I use to trick him by saying oh my period is here and it was not there. Then I told him the truth at first he was upset and I could not blame him for being upset. Then he started crying saying that he will always love me and be here for me. We tried to have sex once and it hurt like crazy. Am now twenty

hi i was diagnosed with no uterus when i was 18(now im 21)i dont know what to say. my relatives knew about my situation and seems they are insulting me because they are joking about my situation. i have a boyfiend right now and he doesnt know out it. please help me.

Hi Jary, Your relatives are insensitive and ignorant. I too felt I had a secret, when I was diagnosed, but I have learned that I am just as much a woman as anyone else, and you too can learn to be proud of who you are. Whether or not you can physically bear a child or not is totally irrelevant to who you are. Of course it could be a disappointment to you, that is natural, but that's all it is. And there are so many people with MRKH that are doing things like surrogacy. If you have a loving boyfriend, I hope you find the courage to tell him. And if he is not able to accept you, then he is not the right one for you. Also I recommend the yahoo group mrkh-grrls. There are so man ywonderful people who post. Good luck to you, Susan

Hello, I am 65, and it wasn't till I was 61 that a doctor told me that the anomaly I have has a name. I couldn't believe that nobody had ever told me. It still seems so cruel. It is so wonderful to hear you reading, and to know that I am part of a whole tribe of us! I was lucky enough not to need surgery, and just used the dilators. I very much did want to be like other girls, and was eager to use them. But I really appreciate the feelings you express about having to be acted upon to make you something you didn't even know you wanted. I was able to adopt a daughter, which has been such a healing in my life. Thank you for serving us all.

hi im 14 turning 15 this year, i ahvent got my period yet and iv recently just learned about mrkh is it possible i have it? and is it possible you can have sex without having the operation what sighns will you get before you know you have this? please help

Kelly, My cousin is 15 and was just diagnosed. She had been having sex with her boyfriend and had some discomfort but nothing major. When she went to the doctor, he told her she had a rare variation of MRKH. She was doing a lot of damagae to her insides by having sex even though she techncally still could. He reccommended the surgery in order for her to be able to safely have sex. Definitely go to the doctor first and make sure you find out exactly what it is that is causing your delayed period. It could ve a lot of things besides MRKH and you should find out.

Hey there, My name is Lauren Pellettieri, I am a 22 year old living in New York City, and I was diagnosed with MKRH when I was 18. I just read many of the posts on here, and first of all I want to say that you are (we are) all brave and strong women. I would like to share some information for anyone seeking surgical options. When I began researching MRKH four years ago, the sparse information regarding surgery that would make sexual intercourse possible was extremely frightening to me. Then I found 2 doctors in Atlanta, Georgia, and today, I don't know what I would have done without them. I had surgery right before my 20th birthday, at The Center for Women's Care and Reproductive Surgery (http://www.thomasllyons.com/). From the moment I called for information, I felt that confused feeling of being alone lift as I finally spoke with a compassionate, intelligent woman who knew all about my condition- Dr. Stephanian. She and Dr. Thomas Lyons make an expert team, and I found it quite helpful to have both a male and a female doctor working with me. The surgery was a laparoscopic, minimally invasive procedure than did not require a hospital stay, and the doctors were indispensable with helping me with the dilation process afterwards. I highly recommend going to their website to get information and advice from a highly advanced medical team: http://www.thomasllyons.com/vagina_absence.htm I currently have a wonderfully active sexual life, and I couldn't be more grateful. And that isn't to say that sex is everything. Afterall, what makes a woman a woman is NOT her vagina. If anyone would like more information on my experience, feel free to email me: lpellettieri@gmail.com

This is the first time I've heard of the "Missing Vagina Monologue" and it's beautiful. I have MRKH, diagnosed at 16 and am now 30. My doctor never gave me a name for what I had, it was until a couple of years ago that I stumbled across an article about MRKH and finally didn't feel alone in this special body of mine. I have not always viewed my body as special and still have moments when I wonder "what if", but given the life I have, I am positive that I have something special. I am married to my high school sweetheart who I met just a year after my diagnosis. I told him a month into our relationship all about me and after and initial shock, he decided that it didn't matter. We were married in 2000 and adopted our little boy in 2007. I feel God gave me this body to make me a strong, compassionate and understanding person. It has led me to my wonderful husband, my angel of a son and guided me to become a nurse so that I can help others. This monologue really hit home with me in the sense that women with this condition tend to be strong in spite of what we have been given. My favorite part is the part that says we were all just little girls before our MRKH discovery. I instantly cried because that is a thought I have had all throughout my life. I was just a girl until that day I was examined by my gynecologist. After that, I really didn't know who or what I was. Thankfully, I have grown to know that I am a girl born with a fabulously unique body.

hi my name is Nikkie. I'm 20 years old. i found out i had mrkh when i was 14. I read everybodys stories on here. Thank you for them, they help so much. When i found out about mrkh i was told theres only a few people with what i have in the world. But theres so many more people i can relate to. Its nice feel i can connect with all of you instead of nobody. Would anyone be interested in talking? i have not shared my story with another girl like mine. Everyday is a mystery on how your emotions are going to act to mrkh. Good days and bad days. I would realy like to talk with somebody and share stories, expieriences :) i am curently doing dialation. Its alot easier to do it now after a few years of it being to hard to try and do it daily all the emotion, the reminder of mrkh that used to come from it. Its getting easier. Its working to.

This is a really great presentation. It's really beautiful. My cousin was just diagnosed with MRKH and she is very nervous because when she went in to get a vaginal exam and have the nurse show her how to use a dilator for the first time, they found that beyond her short vaginal canal, there is a space of nothing. The nurse and doctor were perplexed and she now needs to have a camera inserted through her vaginal canal to see what is "up there" basically. I feel worried for her because she continually says she feels "defective" or "like a robot instead of a girl". I just wish I could get her to understand that MRKH is not the end of womanhood.

Hello all Is there anyone on here that has been successful in having a family via surrogacy? I would love to hear from you regarding the process. Becs

I married her about three month back and got to know that she is a patient of MRKH. She love me and me too. Our behaviour is not normal with each other. We have a suspect of loosing each other. Before marriage se undergon with surgery and which was not suceessful to have a complete sex and sexual satisfaction. She is not that much physically fit to have the surgery again. What should we do...please guide

She is not having trust on me that I'll not leave her and I am not having trust on her that she will live with me. The tension her family had earlier came in my family also. I tried to convince her several times that if we ll live togather apart from our family, we ll be getting a happy life. I have a plan to adopt a child. I dont know what wrong I did with her, only I wanted from her to follow me and to live with me, but she dint trust me. I am deadly dedicated towards her, but I am not able to convince her. In court also I accepted her, as she wanted, buteven she dint agree to live togather.

Hi ladies I was diagnosed with MRKH when i was 16 but i knew there was something wrong before then. I am now 30. I have only just started to research into the condition, i suppose i have tried to block it out of my mind for many years but i am now at a stage of my life where i know i have to deal with my condition. The thing is i was born with an opening to my vagina which made using the dialotrs much easier and the results came quite quickly. Although i do not have a womb, i do have overies. I know that i will never be able to carry a child but surrogcy is always an option. I have a wonderful man in my life who does not know about my condition and i know that i have to be honest with him, especially as he wants a family in the future but i really dont know where to start. We have been together for 2 years and have a lovely home together in the u.k.and i'm so afraid that he will leave me. especially as i knew about my condition before we met, i should have been honest from the start but it's difficult isn't it? At what point do you put your trust in someone and tell them your biggest insecurity. Hi my name's rebecca and i have MRKH, nice to meet you!!??!! I'm not really sure where i'm going with this message, suppose it's ust great to know i'm not alone. I'm not ready for any of the meet up groups but it would be great to chat with others with simular situations to mine. Becx

You may not like getting a reply from a guy. I am here because I had a girlfriend with MRKH. I loved her very much too. I wanted to know more about others with her condition, and their thoughts, so I could understand her and her needs better. That is the honest truth. Speaking about honest truth. May I suggest that you tell the man you are with, "the honest truth." There is no way around it. Not if you want him to continue on loving you. Trust is one of the most important elements in a relationship.Lying or evading is a very good way to destroy that trust. Better to be truthful then live a life of lies. If he truly loves you, he will understand and accept your situation. It might even draw you closer. I know it did for me and the woman I was with. What killed it between me and the woman I knew was not her MRKH, but, other problems she was dealing with. Those were of a psychological nature. We could not find middle ground in which to find a mutually acceptable accord. From the physical aspect, I would have loved her even if she were a quadruple amputee. Love is some crazy kind of business, isn`t it. Do what your heart tells you to do. And, no matter what...accept the results. Living a life of lies is not something you`ll want. As they say, "the truth will set you free." It will too. Vince

I agree that trust is a major part in a relationship. without trust it will not last. But I have a fear of falling in love with that guy and telling him, him leaving me. I have had so much heart break already I just dont think I can handle that.I have already lose something so precious to me... the child I could never have... When I get to the dr the 2nd time I was by myself.. I broken down.. If felt like that dr took all my dreams away... it hit me so harder then after bc I am at a point in my life were I am ready to settle down and start a family.. But I did just a few weeks ago tell the guy that I was starting to like, I have known him for 8 years now. Guess what he doesn't talk to me anymore... How can I ask him to be with me? What can I give him? if we wanted to take things to the next level... I cant... not right now anyways... I cant even carry his child... do u know how much that hurts me? I want more then anything to. I don't get to experience the joy of telling my husband we r expecting... the first kick.. the rounded tummy.. the morning sickness... the sleepless nights.. the midnight cravings.. the joy of something growing inside of me... how can I ask him to give all that up? what if I am not good enough... what if he can tell i am different then the other girls... now r u seeing y its so hard to tell him? I want soo much to be loved and cherished... how will it ever happen if i cant overcome a fear that scares me more then anything... but somethings we dont find the right guy and they hurt us even more... then its back to square one and the next time its even harder to tell someone... just maybe if I dont tell him some how sameway mrkh will go away.. but we all know thats not true... I hope you can get something out of it... if u wanna know more email @ misty_boswell@yahoo.com Thanks hoped I helped, Misty

Hi Vince, thank you for your reply. It's great to get any response from anyone so of course i do not mind you replying to my post. I totally agree with what you are saying and that is that my partner does need to know the truth, i just cant find the courage inside me to do so. BUT i know i need to do so and soon. I guess i should be lucky in a way as i only have a mild case of mrkh. Physically i am ok and i already have a surrogote mother so all i need now i guess is courage!

Finding the courage you will need comes from doing what you know to be right. You have already indicated that you know your "partner" needs to know. There is no better time then the present to tell your partner. It won`t become any easier for you to tell him. Like a abscessed tooth...it doesn`t get better with time. There are many things in life we do not like dealing with, but, a mature person will...eventually. "Secrets" like this can be relationship killing. Get `er done! The sooner, the better. If this partner of yours is worth getting old with, and having children with, then he has to love you...no matter what. Give him the opportunity to show that love. Withholding the truth from him will only anger him. At least it would me. I am a man, and I want to know what I am dealing with so I can adjust and do what is right for all parties concerned..in this case, that would be you, future children, and of course...I have to consider myself too. Give me the real skinny, and I will provide for those I love. Can`t do that based on faulty data. Lying, or withholding critical information, is no way to start off a lasting family relationship. It`s like building on a weak foundation. No matter how fancy and strong what is built on top of that foundation is...it will eventually come tumbling down. In relationships...truth (and openness) is the strongest foundation there is. I am not saying this will be easy for you...saying that the "truth will always set you free." Think about it. You do want to sleep at night, don`t you? My very best to you! Vince

Good afternoon to you Vince I here you ! Just to clarify, i sleep well at night already - shouldn't i :)perhaps not. My courage is getting stronger by the hour although i'm not quite there yet. Where in the world do you live? Just curious Kind regards

I am an American residing in Mexico. Vince

hey im 14 turning 15 this year and i havent got my period yet, and i recently just learnt about mrkh is it possible i could have it? and is it possible to evan have sex without the operation? what syptoms did you get before you found out you had it?

That's "i hear you" by the way ! lol

hi bec..thanks for the reply. may i know where to purchase this dilator.. appreciate ur info on this.

Hi Nadia. The hospital provided me with the dilators free of charge. A small vibrator works just the same though! Bec

i am 17 and just found out i have MRKH i just sarted using dialtors and its just nice to know there are other ppl out there with this problem... i understand what u mean about telling others it makes me feel like somewhat less of a women because of it but i have a wonderful family and doctor to help me through it... i think u should tell him because the longer you hold out the tougher its going to be :) hope you the best

I am so glad I found this website by coincident. The many years of questions behind my mind 'what's wrong with my body?' is answered. Thanks so much for the video information. I have mrkh too and only known about it just recently. I want to try the dilators can you tell me more about it?

Hello ladies. I was diagnosed with MRKH when i first visited gynecologist when i was about 18 y.o. I didn't have my period, (now i'm 32), but i never could talk to anybody about this, so I went to the doctor when i was 18........... after examing my genitals, my doctor told me "U r very beutifull young girl, but u will never-ever have three things in your life: period, husband and children"........... It killed me....... I was crying my heart out on the way home........ I told my parents that, but they couldn't understand why I was crying so hard, they just bought new furniture and were happy about it, and couldn't understand why i didn't come out from my room to share their happiness....... I always experience pain during intercourse, because I'm missing 2/3 of my vergina... "dimple" is the right word.. my two boyfriends left me as soon as they found out about it...... One of them told me that I was a waiste of life....At 24 I had a surgery - uteris mioma... Doctor promissed me that he will remove mioma, fix my vergina, and I would be able at least have normal painfree sex life.... 2 days later after I woke up from heavy anestesia overdose, my doctor came to my room and told me that he cut out my mioma among with my uteris and right overy and didn't fix my vergina.......and he left... I never saw that doctor again... he never came back to my room .... I'm in a realationship with someone right now for 4,5 years, but all his friends girlfriends are getting pregnant, and I see how much he wants it too..... it's killing me....... he knows that I can't have children, what kills me even more that he is not too supportive either..... I feel like he will find somebody else, and leave me...... I want to tell all women out there who has support - be greatfull that your men accepts u the way u r...... cause it's very rare to find a guy who will undrerstand..... i can't say anything else right now, it's too painfull, maybe im not the best advisor, but i thought it would help .... My best wishes to everybody........... P.S. Sorry for negativeness, but this is my realety I have to deal with.

Hi Nadia I used the dilators from the offset and i now lead a normal sex life. It's not easy, or comfortable at first and i went through many phases where i gave up with them but please dont. Persevere with them and dont give up. It is worth it :)

Dear Bec, can you please tell how long did you use dilators for? You see, I have openning too, so I am sexually active now, it just - I experience pain during intercourse....

Hi Gia about 3/4 months. I sometimes also experience pain during intercourse if i haven't had sex for while - more reason to stay active!

Thx, Bec for responding, i will definetely look into getting dialators, I guess I just have to find the right doctor (Who won't look at me like I have three heads and ten legs, wich happened before). I just wanted to add a comment re telling guys the WHOLE TRUTH - my opinion - DON'T TELL HIM THE WHOLE TRUTH! They don't need to know EVERYTHING....... Firts, they will never ubderstand you 100%, second - psychologically - in the back of their mind - they will never look at you as at 100% healthy and "normal" woman.... n that creates a problem in the future realationship. Of course we should tell the guys that we can't carry a baby, because if he serious about you, he has a right to know. But it's only my opinion, but I will NEVER EVER tell my man why I can't have children.... never!

If you struggle to find the right doctor or would like to save embarrassment, then vibrators do just the same! I would recommend small at first ha ha. Where in the world are you from? Bex

Hi Bex, i'm from New York. Thx for advise, but I'm planning to go to doctor anyways, cause i need to find out if i'm producing eggs, and if i am then i CAN have my own child using my eggs, my man's sperm and surrogate mother... I think it costs about $30000 in US.

Good luck with goin to the docs. I'd love to hear how you get on and be greatful if you could advise on the procedure of how they advise if you are still producing eggs as i am keen to find this out for myself x

Hi everyone, I am a writer for the Dallas Voice and have been humbled to read all of your stories. Do any of you live in Texas by chance? I would be honored to share your stories if any of you are willing to share. Feel free to contact me at renee@ renee-baker.com. Thanks so much, Renee Baker p.s. If you would like to read some of my past stories, see genderpower.com for a list.

hi. my name is jen and im 18 years old. i found out i had MRKH when i was 17. that was literally one of the hardest day of my life. i went through soo many doctors. missed so many days of school for doctors appointments and my teachers would ask why and i didnt know how to respond. my mom thought it was abnormal that i was 15 and hadnt had my period yet so we went to our family doctor but all he told us was that im just 15 and its kinda normal not to get it yet. after a year we switched family doctors. when she saw i didnt have a vagina opening she referred me to a gynecologist.the gynecologist ran blood tests to see if my hormones were normal and they were. i went through puberty; grew facial hair pubic hair and breast etc. so my gynecologist sent me for an ultra sound & after a couple of weeks they sent me for and MRI cus the ultra sound wasnt very clea. after 2 weeks i had to go do another ultra sound. my MRI was then sent to my gynecologist which he told me he thinks he knows what i have but he rather have a specialist look at it. so i was referred to the children hospital. there i was told i have MRKH. i wasnt sure what it was but she told me what it was and that i dont have a uterus and i will never be able to have my period and that i also wont ever be able to have kids. it hurt me so much i broke down and cried! she also told me i dont have a vagina and that they can make a vagina using dilators thatll take months or surgery. my biggest dream of all is to get married and have beautiful children of my own. but that day i felt like my dream was snatched outta my hand and got torn into a million pieces in front of me and there was NOTHING i could do about it. i felt very lonely, i never knew of anyone who had this. i was also kind of embarrassed i didnt want anyone to know but me and my mom. i thought people would think im weird. for weeks i would cry when im alone. fearing 'would i ever get married? who would want to get married to a girl who cant have kids? im scared of getting into a relationship cus i cant get intimate..' its hard to admit but im very self cautious. i was kind of self cautious before i found out i had MRKH because im kind of a chunky girl but now that i know i have MRKH i wayyy more self cautious. i felt that no one would ever understand what im going through. i didnt know who to talk to i didnt know who to turn to for word of comfort. & i didnt know who to turn to when i just simply needed a hug. it made it even harder because around this time i had lost nearly ALL of my friends in school. i walk around school seeing sooooo many young girls pregnant and i just wish if only i cant have a baby of my own. & i see so many girls getting abortions like its normal when there are people like me dying on the inside cus they cant carry a baby. my doctor had told me to go do research on this so i have a better knowledge of what i have. i didnt till today, the day before my doctors appointment to start using dilators to form my vagina. reading what MRKH is made me break down and cry. then i came upon this site... watched the video and realized you know what i guess im not alone & that there are people out there that feel the same way i do. and i believe i was born this way for a reason, god made me this way for a reason. this is none of anyones business but mine so i will talk about it when i want and to who i want. i know im still young and i have a BIG future ahead of me. i wanna be a doctor someday and maybe help someone out who has MRKH and let them know that theyre not alone. i wanna find the guy of my dreams and get married and if he doesnt accept me for me then he isnt the guy of my dreams. i will adopt kids and maybe save a life. & to everyone who has MRKH, keep your head up high youre not alone. negativity doesnt get you very far in life. we're not normal but yet we are. there are people out there who have gone through tougher situations than us [not that this isnt tough]. i thought about it and im kind of glad i didnt hear the doctor say i have cancer or something else deadly. thank you you guys for sharing your stories cus its really helping people feel not alone.

Jen, I am going thur the samething.. all my dreams have my shattered.. I cant cope with this... everyone around me is having kids... i never get to feel a child growing inside of me.. that hurts soo much! but i am here if u need to talk! email me at misty_boswell@yahoo.com or find me on Facebook if u have one!

Hi Misty, I just received a post you did a while ago about the need to talk to some one. I did not realized how old it is; plus I just received it today on in my email form gendervision wedsite. However, if you do need someone to talk to just email me. :)

i know u posted this awhole back but i just want to let u know i know exactly how you feel... i found out this year but i havent told anyone... not even my best friend. im a cheerleader and im so scared of relationships at all because at my school ppl expect cheerleaders to be easy and sleep around, i just dont wanna get hurt. im 18 years old and if u ever want to talk please email me at kori.reese@yahoo.com its so nice to know there are other women out there with this who have so much to offer :)

OMG! This video echoed so much of the psychological trauma that has affected me for my whole life. No, I do not have MRKH, I am male. When born, I had a perfect body until a day or two later when the doctor "altered" me. They did it completely without reason or cause, as my genitals were normal and without any problems, they just did it because "they could". At the age of three, I noticed the damage and inquired what had happened. (they thought I would never know!), and then my mother tried to explain it to me. From that day forward, I knew without question that I had been damaged by a doctor who had treated me as if I were an object without rights who had no concern for my own opinion about my own body which now was less than whole. What he did was done to "conform" me to HIS ideas, not mine. I wasn't allowed to have a chance to say anything about my own body. At the age of 52, I managed to recall it using therapeutic recall techniques, only to find that it was torture in the extreme, I was after all, skinned alive without any anesthetics. As a child my feelings of mutilation were so buried that I could not discuss the issue with anyone, not even the most trusted of souls. Personal relationships are almost impossible because I feel that I am "less than I should be". I longed for the body I had been born with for naught. With the internet, I began my search for information which was (finally) available anonymously. In my search I found that victims of circumcision are but the tip of the iceberg concerning doctors and their "quest" to "perfect mankind" to their own image, in complete disregard to the feelings of their patients. MRKH "treatment" is one MORE injustice we can add to forced genital "surgeries" done without thinking about what the patient wants for their own life. I am puzzled by the doctors having to "verify" gender before treatment. What are they thinking? This is absurd. The obsession of doctors to "perfect" the genitals of infants and children to their own fabricated "ideal" is OUT OF CONTROL. And who would stop them? I have no problem with those who willingly allow a doctor to alter their genitals to their desired form. That is how it SHOULD BE. Only someone who has all the information regarding the proposed procedure and its benefits/risks could possibly give "informed consent". To those with MRKH, you are beautiful. You ARE human in every respect. No one has the right to degrade you just because you are different. Your life is your OWN, and you have the right to it as YOU see, not as others see.

thanks a lot dear.i was nt passing through any kind of trauma or tension. but onething kept on peeping in mind what is exactly wrong with me but your consolation made me realise that it is a God's gift to me. thanku

What a fantastic representation of us fellow women with MRKH. Could not have said it better myself! would love to here from others Bec xx

It was very interesting to view http://is.gd/s2vv the the "missing vagina monologue". Thank you for having it here for us cyber travelers. However, while I thought a great deal about the "missing" vagina monologue (and especially the help it can provide others), I find I left feeling she was, unwittingly perhaps, contradicting herself !!. She condems those that judge someone based on body parts, but then she does the same in her reference in someone mistaking her for possibly being transgendered. She needs to review her words and see the damage SHE passes on too! In some ways she may be correct. Crossdressers, drag queens, and some others in the broad category of "transgendered" ARE men and as such bring out some strong opinions and feelings in genetic women. However, there is a sub-category within that broad umbrella that is called "transsexual". We are NOT men. Whether it was because our brains developed at a different stage in the womb than when our bodies got a wash of testosterone, or whatever, we ARE women. We ARE female. Some of us carry the sex organs of BOTH sexes but inside are still women. To be complete, some of us have female bodies and yet are male in our souls. These are FTM (female to male) transsexuals. I am a MTF (male to femnale) transsexual. In dealing with the medical community, I was deal with a male body, but there is absolutely no doubt by those in this field that are either Medical Doctors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists and the like that I am FULLY a woman and born that way despite my physical body betraying me with the male parts. By the time I finish all my surgeries, I will have spent close to $75,000 out of my own pocket. I initially was so anticipating my next surgery to give me my vagina until several months ago. Unlike many others like me, my transition has been unusually great. Virtually 99.7% of my friends, old political peers, work collegues, family, and strangers all accept me and people who just meet me accept me as a woman. Many times I forget I'm transsexual until something comes up to remind me (or I have to pee). I use the women's restrooms, the women's lockerroom at my health club and any other place I go, and nobody questions me. I am virtually treated as the woman I am. Being 6' tall, I do get glances due to my height, but then there are other 6' women out there. I am still looking to get my vagina, but it doesn't have the significance it once had. You see, initially, I needed it for validation to myself, I guess. I'm not sexually active and don't know what my future holds on that front, but sex isn't the most important thing in my life anyways. Unfortunately, I could never have a child, so in a ways, it negates the need. But most importantly, I finally accepted myself ! When I quit denying myself and began on the road to acceptance, there came a clarity of who I am, my purpose, the answers to questions I had all my life. You see, I am "me" and I am happy with "me". I am a woman and live my life as such. I am no longer confused. I've learned to lose the bitterness of being cheated out of so much in my life by trying to be someone I was not. That vagina is no longer needed to validate myself. I am a woman with or without it. Just like this video points out. We are who we are regardless of the tricks natured played on us. I am most saddened by other women who do not accept us as female, but I do understand that they are just ignorant of the truth or have never really explored this, or just uneducated on this topic, or for some that they feel threatened by us. For many also, they confuse us with the crossdressers or others within that "transgendered" umbrella category. For us, it presents a problem. We do not mind supporting all those in the transgendered category because everyone has the innate right to be who they believe they are as long as they are not hurting anyone else. And, for some it may be a temporary stop on their quest for identity until the ultimately find there group. But, PLEASE, PLEASE all you genetic women. Take a pause and think about this. Whether you have MRKH or a host of other things or none of them, remember that WE MTF transsexuals are ALSO females. Judge us from WHO we are, not what body part we might or might not have. We need to be in the transgendered category because there is strength in numbers for when we try to get things past, but we do need a better way to differentiate ourselves also.

Hi there. If you review the video of Ester's words, again, you will hear that Ester was beaten up by women because they thought Ester was transgendered. This does not reflect badly about being transgendered or not. I don't think Ester says anything against transgendered people.

hello everyone I have been lost for long time. but today I feel I am found. I always thought that I was ther only one with this unknown problem I felt alone and weird. I was called many things in life. Iam no longer a lone I have all this people who I feel like they are my family, I have been researching a support group for as long as I can remember. I have ( MRKH) I was told that I have a normal overies and undeveloped uterus. I was also told that I need to have a sergery, so that I can have a normal vagina. If there is any one out there who can tell me what to expect I'll love to hear from tham. thanx a lot

Hi Kai, I am Tawny and I am 22. After being diagnosed I still did not understand the syndrome completely. After talking to many doctors who had asked if I wanted to have surgery. I had thought about it and had talk to my boyfriend and decided not to. The reason is because I felt no need to. My boyfriend and I have a healthy sex life. Also even with the surgery I won't be able children; there is no point. However, if you feel that getting a surgery will make you feel better about yourself (not because you want to be "normal") then I say go for it. Don't do anything to be "normal" like other women because the truth is we will never be like other women. But then again...not every women is the same. If you have any questions just email me back.

i am so thankfull i found this forum. i just wonder if there is anyone who has had a baby through a surrogae mother? iam still a few years away but i would like to know all of the details. i have searched the internet for many days now and still did not get all of the anwsers. i would appreciate any info. thank you krissy

[quote=milena]Hi, I can't believe how many girls have the same problem like me!!! I lived with this fact 7 years, finally i had operation. And now at least I am able to have normal sexual intercourse. Anyway I will not be able to get pregnant :( Never...

Hi, I can't believe how many girls have the same problem like me!!! I lived with this fact 7 years, finally i had operation. And now at least I am able to have normal sexual intercourse. I would love to help you, support and give some my happiness :). Feel free to e-mail on milena.true@hotmail.com

Esther, Well done my friend.. I could not have said it better myself.. =)

I'm ashamed to say that i've only just seen this monologue. I'd heard about it, known objectively what MRKH is, and even read the script. I've talked to other women, with other syndromes for whom vaginal agenesis is a symptom, in addition to having coped with a measure of vaginal stenosis myself. Those women have AIS, and i have CAH. I'm going to start telling my CAHsisters and AIS friends, that they REALLY need to see this... because its not just about MRKH'ers, and for that i'm profoundly grateful. You have articulated so well, something i have been trying to express about us... since the day i realized that "i am not the only one"... Atypical does not equal abnormal. I was fine, as i was. :) The vast majority of us on whom these surgeries are performed... often without our knowlege, always without our consent... are just fine. :)

I know deep down from all that i could read so far,the doctor will tell her that she has mrkh. In one way i am glad that we know what is the problem. But at least she is fortunate enough, to be able to enjoy a healthy sex life with her boyfriend. And surrogacy is an option, for them. I guess in one way she is very lucky there is no operations for her to deal with on top of everything.She is grateful for small mercies.

She was told that her ovaries are fine but very close to her kidney,and that if her ovaries packed in it could take her kidneys with them.The doctor has not as yet said that she has MRKH but when i googled [no womb no cervix ]this was the only condition that came up.THE CHILDRENS HOSPITAL BOSTON where the only indication of what the matter was.There are many variations of this condition going by there web site. We live in South Wales in Great Britain and my daughters next appointment is in february,is we will not be any wiser until then. At the moment she is more worried that her boyfriend might not be able to cope,he will not tell her how he feels ,typical male.They wanted to start a family when they are older and married ,she dose not no where she stands,shes lost and confused in her own turmoil. I do not know how to help her, other than to be there and pick up pieces if he walks away from her.

Dear Millissia owen, I'm also 19 and although I have known about my condition for longer than your daughter please let her know that I would be glad to talk to her. I too can have sex normally and did not have surgery and at this age my hardest problem is thinking about the future and what will happen now. I also have trouble coping with the questions I get about why I don't have a period. I'm very sensitive to it and could easily relate to your daughter. You are both welcome to email me at revert@nebrwesleyan.edu Sincerely, Rayhere

I am 20 years old and I need someone to talk to. The doctors have not yet told me for sure that I have mrkh.. but I am 100% sure I do.. I go to the dr on Aug 10 to find out.. I found out when I was 12..that I couldnt have sex or kids and I also have hearing problems.. but the first Docotr never told me what was going on with my body.. my parnets never talked to me about it.. so I have had no one to help me get thur this.. but I cant cope with this..Y me? I just dont understand Y it had to happen to me.. but i really need support.. i feel like i am the only on that has this. and I am not NORMAL.. y would anyone want to be with me.. please email me at misty_boswell@yahoo.com I really need anyones help.. so please all who will email me! we need a one day chat time.. Thanks, Misty

Hello, I'm new to this website and am wondering if anyone else out there are as sensitive as I am to new-borns, dead-baby jokes, joking remarks about being on a period (when you don't get one) and questions in general when you finally explain. Let me know if you can relate Sincerely, Rayhere

Hello there, it just so happens that I live in the states(texas) and I have no insurance to speak of, so treatment is almost impossible here. i have found one of the largest centers for congenital abnormalities in London, or right outside. It is through Imperial College, and it facillitates approximately 500 women and girls with varying levels of the syndrome. They are housed in Queen Charlottes and Queen Chelsea Hospitals. I am actually in the process of attempting to set up a consultation visit for next month myself. I hope this is of some help to you and your daughter. My thoughts are with you all... Jayanna

my daughter has just been told 2 days ago that she has no womb and no cervix. She will be 19 in january,she is able to have sex with her boyfreind. So i can only asum that her vaginea is of a functional size. Her doctor wants to see her again in febuary.He did not tell her any thing more than this , i can only gess he wanted to find out more himself first. Unfortunatly my daughter had to hear this news on her owen.Has she got MRKH.

Dear Millisa Owen, I am sorry to hear about your daughter experience regarding MRKH.I myself was not diagnosed until I was 20, now I am 21. To clarifly, was your daughter diagnosed with MRKH? in other words, did the doctor tell her specifically that the symdrome that she has is MRKH? From my research and own experience, women with MRKH do not have a cervix/ vagina. Your daughter is able to have sex is because her wall (skin before the vagina)is stretch during sex.

To Esther and Tawny: Thank you for the information. I knew there were a few other women like me out there cuz I had talked to two of them regarding surgery when I was given the option, which I declined after talking with them. I wish I could attend the Event but I am in California and not in a financial situation to travel across country. Please contact me, my email is silverraiyne@gmail.com I would love to talk to someone that would understand where I am in life

Dear Jen, I am sorry to hear about your negative experience regarding MRKH. I myself was not diagnosed until I was 20, now I am 21. After being dianosed, it sparked an interest in me to do whatever I can for my MRKH women. Another MRKH sister and myself are organizing a get together to discuss furture plan for MRKH women as well as providing awareness of MRKH to everyone.

I have MRKH, but I've been in denial of it for the past 10 yrs. I relate to everything that was said and then some. It was discovered when I was 14. I was told by the doctor I was hermaphrodite, an ugly abnormality. It was decided by my parents that I was never to talk about it and a lie about cancer and a hystorectomy was constructed to explain why I didn't have periods and had a shallow vagina. I'm sick of lying, I think it's caused more harm than anything.

Hi Jen, The MRKH Organization is sponsoring an Event for MRKH women to meet each other at Simmons College in Boston on Oct 26, 2008. You can read more about it on our web site [ www.mrkh.org ] They have been a great way to meet other women and share our experiences

Thanks, esther and Tawny... =)

HI Nouvelle, look up Dr. Gary Alter on google. He is a plastic surgeon

I have MRKH. I want to have a vagina. Does anyone know which country is the most appropriate place to have surgery?

Hi Nouvelle, I would suggest you join one of the on line support groups so you can connect with MRKH women from around the world. Women with experience really are the best resource. There is a list of support groups on the MRKH Organization web site [www.MRKH.org]

I was born with mrkh but last month I was healed by the power God!! We are talking about the one true living God, Jesus Christ! I am going to have a baby!!! No medicine no surgery no surrogate! I am having a baby from my own uterus which!!! I have documents upon documents upon testing upon ex-rays and ultrasounds proving that I was born with MRKH. NO LONGER!!! I AM HEALED AND HAVING A BABY!!!! I LOVE YOU JESUS!!!

DEAR DEBORAH, CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME INSIGHT ABOUT THIS? HOW WAS IT POSSIBLE. I AM A STRONG CATHOLIC AND BELIEVE IN THE SAVING POWER OF OUR GOD. HOWEVER, FROM MY UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT MRKH IS, HOW WAS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO HAVE A BABY WHEN THERE IS NO UTERUS OR THE MISSING VIGINA? WAS THE VIGINA OPENED? FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME TRUCIE315@GMAIL.COM THANK YOU SO MUCH

Did you become pregnant naturally or IVR?

I cannot thank you enough because everything you said is everything I've felt/experienced since I was diagnosed with MRKH at 14. After many years, I am no longer alone. Thank you.

I am not sure if i have mrkh. But absence of uterus is there. Can anybody help me with some kind of information about doctors whom i can consult in India. Please help me.

I know a woman with MRKH, and based on that experience, I have more then just a cursory knowledge of the condition. I want to congratulate you for the "missing vagina monologue." You are a brave woman for expressing yourself so well and so freely. By doing the video, you are bringing the condition out into the light of day, which I personally think needs to happen. The particular lady I know with MRKH has some real problems of an emotional nature...all, I think anyway, as she was not so forthcoming in telling me her thoughts on the subject, related to her MRKH, and perhaps how her family treated her at the time of the discovery of her condition and afterward. I just don`t know for sure. I do know that she is a mess emotionally, and did not ask for this condition, like any of you women did. I just wish she could have gotten better care other then physically. I don`t think she was prepared as well as she might have been, to cope with what was waiting for her in her future. You, by doing the video, put a human face to the condition, and show that you are a regular person too. I know many in this world can be, and are, insensitive...not only to those with MRKH, but to others suffering from other problems as well. That is the nature of man. At least the nature of ignorant and uncaring man. How they behave reflects badly on them, but not on women like you. It is obvious that you are a person of dignity and feeling. The lady I know is smart, ambitious and aggressive. She lives her life as if she has to prove things to others (maybe herself as well) all of the time. She is not good at taking help from those who love her either. She is horrible at interpersonal relationships. She never shares her innermost feelings and thoughts. She never participates in anything either. She is a loner. She has a dog and two parrots (they are hers due to an agreement between her and her ex husband). That is all she seems to feel comfortable with. Human contact is not something she particularly enjoys, but knows she has to make it, in order to make her living. She is very much schizoid, or at least appears to be that way to me. I wanted her badly at one time, but finally had to give up on her after two years of utter frustration dealing with ways I just could not fully understand, or cope with. She never wanted to cede "territory" or her trust. She had to be the one in charge all of the time. She was secretive to a fault too. I can understand a lot of what and why she did things now, but didn`t at all in the early stages. If more knew what you were saying in your video, and read the words of women with the condition...we might try to be more patient and understanding with those, like the woman I fell in love with, instead of giving up in utter and oftentimes maddening frustration. Her major problem was not her MRKH, but the emotional problems that I am sure resulted from being diagnosed and "treated" for it. I suppose it was the "stigma" of being different, that caused her to develop her emotional problems. Short of some successful emotional therapy, I do not see her changing in any way. I don`t know if she can ever be completely happy either. But, I am saying this from my perspective, and not hers. I wanted to be a part of her life, and for her to be a part of mine...wanted it badly too. But, it was never meant to be. Again, I enjoyed watching the video and hearing your words. It gives me a much better insight into the condition, and more so, how you women might feel about and cope with it. In a way, you are on a much higher level as a human being. Sometimes, at least I think so, adversity builds great character. I don`t think many of the women with MRKH would care about having more character over being born like most women are, but this is a plus in a way. I don`t want my words to be taken wrong...I mean that you are gaining something by your experience with the MRKH. Maybe something you would have never asked for, but you are gaining it nonetheless...you seem to be highly intelligent and are seeking wisdom that you may have not sought out before. It is sort of like giving up all earthly possessions and seeking the meaning of your existence at a mountaintop Buddhist monastery...a higher pursuit, at least to me. When you remove the physical and the material, what you have left is the spiritual...a much higher plane, to be sure. Besides rambling on, I do hope some of what I said makes sense. We all have to look for the gold in every situation life presents to us. It is better then the alternative. We all have a purpose...the trick is to focus on finding and achieving it. I think you have found yours. Keep up the good work.

I Can't believe what I just heard. Ihave mrkh and I have gone eight years feeling alone in it. I can relate to this monologue so much I just sat and listened and cried harder than i have in years. Thank you so much for your bravery.