Trans Partner: Gender & Relationship Print

An extended, in-depth interview with well-known transgender advocates Helen Boyd and Betty Crow. Helen is the author of the book "My Husband Betty", which explores the relationships of crossdressing men and their female partners, as well as a follow-up, "She's Not the Man I Married", a more serious and expansive examination of gender roles in relationships. Betty Crow is a professional actor who has appeared on daytime TV in "All My Children" as a transgender woman, who also works as a web designer and 3D animator.

Helen & Betty's profound love and respect for one another shines as they share their insights and experiences about the complexity of gender, gender identity, sex, love and marriage. Helen talks about her own experience in being partnered with a trans person, speaking from a feminist perspective about transgender identities and negotiating relationship while navigating the spectrum of gender expression. Betty talks about the importance of their marriage to her, of her desire to "grow old" with Helen, and how doing so requires a commitment on her part to a partnered approach to her transition. Together, their refreshing candor and evident love for one another make this a not-to-be-missed program.

Part 1 (28:56):

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Part 2 (29:54):

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Now available on DVD!

Exclusive DVD content:
Over 30 minutes of additional content, as Helen & Betty talk about how they met, and share anecdotes with Nancy. 

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Comments (17)
  • russ j  - conflicted
    i met a girl on line and it seemed to be going fine we talked for quite some time and it was nice . i am a straight man and have never thought of myself any other way.the attraction was there and she was in my mind was just what i was looking for when she told me she was really a man at one time i diddnt know just how to take it after alot of thought on the matter i felt it was ok with me and was willing to let my feelings for her decide where i should go with this but i could not get passed the social problems it would cause in my life and she diddnt understand when i told her about this . is it me or her that really has a problem?.im confused and hurt. is this an issue that comes up alot?or am i just not seeing it?
  • Adina  - Raving raven horses being euthanased
    I love the show and the radio stuff guys. Only one thing. I'm a veterinarian. The reason that horses are commonly euthanased when they fracture legs is actually to relieve pain and suffering. It is almost impossible to get a leg fracture in a horse to heal. The just put too much weight on the implants and they invariably fail. There are some recent developments that may offer some hope but believe me, if those horses could be saved then owners and veterinarians would be doing it. Thankyou again for your show.
  • Nancy  - Thanks for your comment
    Adina, thanks for this comment. We understand this, but look forward to the day when humans find a way to help horses recover from such things. Where there is a will - and money - there is a way!
  • Layla Nielsen  - A message from Denamr
    Dear Nancy and Gordene I am a Danish transgender. I listened to your programs on GenderTalk for many years. I was thrilled when I recently found your new GenderVision. So wonderful that we can connect through the Internet. I am MtF and I am still a part-time man, but I am really considering whether I should do something about it, that is becoming a woman. Forturnately, we have several transgender associations in Denmark, and I have contact to other transgenders, so I am not alone. Just recently one of the well-known transgender advocates visited me, and we had a great afternoon talking about the world of transgenders, particularly in Denmark. The easy solution is to stay part-time woman. Then I can choose to be a man or a woman. Many years ago I sent a mail to Nancy, and I was really happy when you sent an answer. It was really special to get a response from an icon like you - and I am sure you will not accept that term, but around the world, I am sure many transgenders know and love you and Gordene. Thank you for your wonderful programs on radio and TV. Layla
  • Nancy Nangeroni  - You're welcome!
    Good to hear from you, Layla. We're hoping to get back on the air one of these days, but right now we're just both swamped with other work. Best wishes and good luck to you in your gender adventures. ~Nancy
  • Layla Nielsen
    I am a Danish follower of Nancy and Gordene. I used to listen to Gendetalk, and just recenently I discovered TransVision - thank you. I am still strugling with the issue of gender transition, that is a sex change operation. Probably I will stay a man in the physical defintion and a woman in my mind. But every day I want to be a woman. I am unemployed as a man, and I am looking for a job as a man - what else can I do? Perhaps I am not sufficiently daring to try a new life. I am dreaming of a life as a woman, but in reality I am still a man. laylanielsen@ymail.com
  • robinmaria smith  - betty program
    I think it was great to learn about Betty and all I wish they were more transgender peolpe of color I feel liek the only one I go to a support group all white and it feel odd they are sweet but can yuo do a show that deal with peolpe of color?
  • Transman
    Given technology today, cant you improve the brightness of these video clips?
  • Nancy  - Anything is possible...
    ...given unlimited time. You're right, The video is too dark on that interview. One of the cameras was adjusted poorly, creating a problem that I didn't solve well enough, obviously. Right now I'm busy working on new programs. I'd welcome any help with re-editing this program.
  • Gina
    I do have issues with some of what Helen & Betty say, not about themselves, but applying to other people's situations. For many people in transition, breaking up with a partner is the right thing to do. They often are unable to make the steps towards transition and progressing with what they need to do to make these often painful and huge changes in their life. The partner, who is often guilty about leaving the transitioning person even though they know it doesn't really fit with what they ultimately want for their life, may find it often better for them to not be married to the transitioning person (although hopefully they can part in a mutually supportive way and in a way that maintains their responsibilities to their children or communal obligations). Yes, its good to not lose the person you love, it's good to not be alone, but it might be more important to feel authentic about where you're going with your life and not feel a degree of emotional blackmail about expressing your needs (and this isn't unique to trans-involved relationships). When Helen says, 'do what you need to do but I might not be there when you get back...' that's an honest statement, but it's still laden with a kind of emotional leveraging. Sad to say, but some of the transwomen I've known who stayed in their marriages remained, in a way, stunted. Their relationship, valuable as it is on some levels, retains a certain aspect of maleness, especially when relating to their woman partner. As painful as going out in the world alone can be, you can learn a lot about yourself as a woman from encountering those challenges. I'm not saying there's one way to do it, but I also don't like holding Helen & Betty up as some kind of 'higher model' for emotionally mature transition... how they've done it has its benefits but it also has some serious costs. Helen is a cool person, but I don't at all envy Betty.
  • Molly O'Lani
    I love these two and Helen's books. I met them at the Mid Hudson TG Alliance group in Poughkeepsie NY. thank you for your radio and video programs here on the net. You do such a wonderful job class and devotion ot message is your trade mark. Thanks Nancy.
  • victoria  - Wonderful program
    I am so happy I have found this program. The two of you are a constant source of inspriration and hope for me. Betty and Helen are in a word "awesome"! I am from california sometime I just can't help my self :O) thanks you, v
  • Shellie  - Trans partner discussion
    Thank you for such an honest, frank interview with Helen and Betty. I am married to a transperson and we have experienced many of the things expressed in this discussion. We have been through a lot together in "our" transition as we feel it's a transition for both of us and those who love us. It is a unique process for each individual and despite the challenges, we are both changed for the better because of this experience... Thanks again, Shellie
  • Antoyneo  - I love you all
    Really put a smile on my face...wish you all nothing but luck.
  • whatsername  - Thank you
    Thank you for your program. This episode in particular is one I have used in conversation to bring the realities of what it means to be trans, and that trans people are in the end PEOPLE too, when I have reached stumbling blocks in communication. And it has served me very well.
  • Gebby
    Thank you for bringing Betty to your program. I am the mother of a transgender person, and I learned so much from your interview. Keep up the good work. Gebby
  • Leigh Ann Hinshaw  - transpartners/gender and relationship
    This is the type of discussion that is really needed in our community. The easy part of transitioning is the physical part, especially the surgery. The hard part is the relationships and communication or lack there of. How to deal with family and friends, especially the ones that want to continue to be in your life...the others that remove themselves aren't even an issue anymore. Thankyou for this excellent dicussion. Leigh Ann
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